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Post by BeatsMetalli on Feb 26, 2017 14:06:48 GMT -6
I dunno, I'm kind of bored right now and I also like giving these reviews once in a while so I guess I'm just gonna give it a try again. I'll review your character's appearence, backstory, personality, flaws and stuff like that. Just provide me a form, including a picture of your character (a description would work too) right here. I'm probably still learning how to do these, so my reviews may not be the best in the whole world lol. I'm just here to mainly offer suggestions.
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Post by Cookie on Feb 27, 2017 1:26:25 GMT -6
Name: Cookie Age: 13 (Though she has the form of a cat, she ages in human years.) Gender: Female Species: Unknown, but she can take on any form. (But there are limits, she can't turn into anything bigger than a door.) She mainly walks around as a cat. Size: 15 cm tall Place of residence: She lives in her own dimension where she can basically create whatever she wants. She visits Earth and other planets alot. Powers: What I stated up there. She's pretty powerful in her own dimension, but when she is outside of her dimension (I really should come up with a name for it so I don't just keep saying "her dimension") she is almost powerless, except for the ability to change her form, and summon portals to her dimension and other places. But she can't summon portals under stress. Her origins: Somewhere in space was a creature who could create planets and other dimensions. They created a small dimension. It was mainly used to play around with stuff when they were bored. They later decided to abandon it, to make a better world than it. But before they left, they decided to create a new lifeform to rule the dimension. This new lifeform was a small blob like creature, who could create things in this world. After they left the little blob in the dimension, it didn't take it long for her (yes for some reason it's a girl.) to figure out how to create stuff, as she was created to be a pretty fast learner. (This is obviously Cookie) I'm not really finished the backstory yet, but that's how she was created.
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Post by BeatsMetalli on Feb 27, 2017 13:52:37 GMT -6
Name: Cookie Age: 13 (Though she has the form of a cat, she ages in human years.) Gender: Female Species: Unknown, but she can take on any form. (But there are limits, she can't turn into anything bigger than a door.) She mainly walks around as a cat. Size: 15 cm tall Place of residence: She lives in her own dimension where she can basically create whatever she wants. She visits Earth and other planets alot. Powers: What I stated up there. She's pretty powerful in her own dimension, but when she is outside of her dimension (I really should come up with a name for it so I don't just keep saying "her dimension") she is almost powerless, except for the ability to change her form, and summon portals to her dimension and other places. But she can't summon portals under stress. Her origins: Somewhere in space was a creature who could create planets and other dimensions. They created a small dimension. It was mainly used to play around with stuff when they were bored. They later decided to abandon it, to make a better world than it. But before they left, they decided to create a new lifeform to rule the dimension. This new lifeform was a small blob like creature, who could create things in this world. After they left the little blob in the dimension, it didn't take it long for her (yes for some reason it's a girl.) to figure out how to create stuff, as she was created to be a pretty fast learner. (This is obviously Cookie) I'm not really finished the backstory yet, but that's how she was created. Name: Cookie Age: 13 (Though she has the form of a cat, she ages in human years.) Hmm... After reading the form over, and if she lives in her own dimension thats not really earth, (unless this place is like earth and orbits a sun with years) then I'd imagine she'd almost have her own form of time... Maybe years for her could even be millions of years, five seconds compared to earth time, etc. Thats just my suggestion.Gender: Female Species: Unknown, but she can take on any form. (But there are limits, she can't turn into anything bigger than a door.) She mainly walks around as a cat. Hmm... Any specific reason she can't turn into anything bigger than a door? Maybe her ability to change into different things can't reach anything more that outweighs her. Or her atom count can only go up so high. So she can't change into anything that has more atoms than what she can change into or produce.Size: 15 cm tall O.O Is she that tiny on purpose?Place of residence: She lives in her own dimension where she can basically create whatever she wants. She visits Earth and other planets alot. So she's the God of her own little world.Powers: What I stated up there. She's pretty powerful in her own dimension, but when she is outside of her dimension (I really should come up with a name for it so I don't just keep saying "her dimension") she is almost powerless, except for the ability to change her form, and summon portals to her dimension and other places. But she can't summon portals under stress. I do like that idea of having her own world and she isn't able to handle worlds outside her own. Almost metaphorically it could represent what an imaginative secluded person feels... They can do whatever they want in their imagination, but in the real world its just too much for them to handle. Anyways, back to the point! Is there a specific reason she can't use her powers under stress?Her origins: Somewhere in space was a creature who could create planets and other dimensions. They created a small dimension. It was mainly used to play around with stuff when they were bored. They later decided to abandon it, to make a better world than it. But before they left, they decided to create a new lifeform to rule the dimension. This new lifeform was a small blob like creature, who could create things in this world. After they left the little blob in the dimension, it didn't take it long for her (yes for some reason it's a girl.) to figure out how to create stuff, as she was created to be a pretty fast learner. (This is obviously Cookie) Not bad but... I really wonder where she got her gender, if this world maybe didn't have anything to do with reproduction or things you'd find on earth. Maybe she starts out genderless, but when she visits earth she learns about humans and animals genders and chooses to identify as female, or something along those lines? See, with characters, you don't just wanna make things 'happen' without a reason for it, otherwise you will leave your reader confused. When you give reasons as to why things happen, it makes the character more interesting too.Ah... I don't think i can finish this review until I have a personality provided too. After that I'll give my overall score.
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Post by Cookie on Feb 28, 2017 0:52:02 GMT -6
Thanks for the review!
For the age, I didn't really think about the time in her own dimension, I just made her 13, to be the same age as me. I guess I could probably say that since she visits earth alot, she decided to count her age in earth time, or something..
As for the shape shifting thing, I thought it would make Cookie overpowered if she could turn into anything too big and powerful, so decided to put a limit on how big she can get. I didn't really think about why though. I think saying that her atom count can only get so high would be a good explanation.
The size? Well, I can explain that.
I was a complete idiot and was using some measuring tape I found to find what size she should be, and I was measuring with the inches side, but I didn't know that and thought I was measuring in centimeters and I was like "Okay, 15 cms seems good enough!" Maybe I was tired? Idk.
-Bangs head on wall 10 times- I can't believe I made that mistake.
Cookie is actually 15 inches tall, not centimeters. XD
As for the not being able summon portals under stress, it's because she would have to concentrate hard to create a portal, and that wouldn't be easy if there was alot of pressure and stress on her.
And yeah, she was genderless at first, but after visiting Earth, she would start using female pronouns to describe herself.
I'm not very good at describing personalities, but I'll try...
Cookie is quirky and creative, she is kind, but can be naive and sometimes taken advantage of. She can be impatient sometimes and a coward, but she is always willing to help her friends. She can also be pretty lazy at times though.
You see, when I make characters, I know how they will act in certain situations and their personality and all that, but I have trouble actually putting them into words. Idk why but I just find it hard. But hopefully that little description helps a little bit.
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Post by BeatsMetalli on Feb 28, 2017 11:04:45 GMT -6
Thanks for the review! For the age, I didn't really think about the time in her own dimension, I just made her 13, to be the same age as me. I guess I could probably say that since she visits earth alot, she decided to count her age in earth time, or something.. As for the shape shifting thing, I thought it would make Cookie overpowered if she could turn into anything too big and powerful, so decided to put a limit on how big she can get. I didn't really think about why though. I think saying that her atom count can only get so high would be a good explanation. The size? Well, I can explain that. I was a complete idiot and was using some measuring tape I found to find what size she should be, and I was measuring with the inches side, but I didn't know that and thought I was measuring in centimeters and I was like "Okay, 15 cms seems good enough!" Maybe I was tired? Idk. -Bangs head on wall 10 times- I can't believe I made that mistake. Cookie is actually 15 inches tall, not centimeters. XD As for the not being able summon portals under stress, it's because she would have to concentrate hard to create a portal, and that wouldn't be easy if there was alot of pressure and stress on her. And yeah, she was genderless at first, but after visiting Earth, she would start using female pronouns to describe herself. I'm not very good at describing personalities, but I'll try... Cookie is quirky and creative, she is kind, but can be naive and sometimes taken advantage of. She can be impatient sometimes and a coward, but she is always willing to help her friends. She can also be pretty lazy at times though. You see, when I make characters, I know how they will act in certain situations and their personality and all that, but I have trouble actually putting them into words. Idk why but I just find it hard. But hopefully that little description helps a little bit. Ah, I do like the new explanations you have for the things I mentioned. ^^ I think those work quite well. As for personality, I'd say that works pretty well too. But just for the lazy part... What does she do that makes her lazy? Just give a small explanation to that and I'd say your character is pretty well. Maybe there isn't a HUGE amount of depth to her, but I'd say she is very relatable and easy to connect to, especially what an artist can feel, like I mentioned earlier. I'd probably give her maaybbeee... A 7.5 maybe even an 8/10. I do like her appearance too, its not hard to look at and isn't eyebleeding like alot of cat characters ive seen lol. I hope my review was alright haha:o Remember, never rush an OC! they take time to fully develop, so don't get frustrated if you get stuck on something! You can find lots of ideas for OCs on websites like Springhole, deviantART, or even Tumblr. ^^ Keep up the good work!
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Post by Cookie on Feb 28, 2017 23:38:36 GMT -6
Thanks so much for the review! :3
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Post by BeatsMetalli on Mar 2, 2017 10:09:22 GMT -6
No prob!
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Scatterplot Matrix
Theme Designer
Keep your voice at a pianissimo and your memes at a forte
Posts: 982
Pronouns: She/Her
Things I Like: Stories, Movies, Music, Food, Unhealthy Food, Very Unhealthy Food, Sugar, More Sugar, Roleplaying, Writing Fanfiction, Drawing / Animating, Other
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Post by Scatterplot Matrix on Mar 28, 2017 21:48:33 GMT -6
Eyy, you still doing this? Mind if I send in my OC for a critique?
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Post by BeatsMetalli on Apr 22, 2017 19:41:59 GMT -6
Ohhh shit, I almost forgot about this. Of course!
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